Thank you, ABC...
Desperate Housewives Lost	A year away from the tube was no doubt good for me, but I'm happy to be able to waste a couple hours a week on these two ABC offerings. They are justifiably popular, and each innovative in its way, at least for network TV. "Housewives" is usually very amusing, though it hasn't quite lived up to its macabre promise. Of the four plotlines revolving around the central characters, those written for Bree and Lynette are by far more inspired than those for Susan and Gabrielle. But face it, 50% ain't bad at all. "Lost" had me hooked from the start: where else on TV can you see a guy getting sucked into a jet engine in the very first show? Still, I was almost certain I would be disillusioned within a few weeks: no way it could sustain the energy and suspense of the first few episodes. The plot was too far-fetched, and with an ensemble cast this large, the prospects for bonding with one or two main characters seemed remote. But so far the show has only improved. The producers have very cleverly solved both of the challenges I mention through the extensive use of flashbacks. Each character has a complex history, and for the most part the histories have been pretty compelling. Each episode, we get to know one character a lot better. And weaving these character strands into the narrative of each episode has allowed the central plot line to move along much more slowly and deliberately, without sacrificing suspense: so far, there has been little need to resort to stupid plot twists and turns of the kind that can so easily kill a serial. Each week, we watch not only to find out what the hell is going on on that island, but also to learn more about each character's dark past. And to find out how each person's separate dark past is connected with the shared scary present, as plainly it must be. Highly recommended. (Past TV opinions follow.)
24 (2002-2003 season)	I admit that it is evidence of a serious character flaw that I have kept watching 24 rather religiously this season. The show started off good last year and ended up very bad, and this year it picked up where it left off. But over the season it has become increasingly entertaining, albeit for entirely unintended reasons. Essentially, the show has become a grand exercise in preposterous plot twists. You tune in each week wondering what the "writers" will think of next, as they pile on one implausible event after another, like Batman pulling just the right device out of his belt. Sometimes the fun is in predicting the next twist. Such as the recent episode in which our hero Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland), bends down over the clinic bed to hear the dying words of one of the badguys, who knows the location of the crucial computer chip. Of course he expires with the words just forming on his lips, but if you were paying attention you might have suspected that he had implanted the chip under his skin, and that Kiefer would see it with a quick glance at the nearby X-ray. And sure enough! Perhaps the best sequence of ridiculous plot twists revolves around Jack's daughter Kim, undoubtedly the unluckiest teenager in Los Angeles. Of course the dad for whom she has been an au pair turns out to be abusive, and Kim makes a run for it by stealing the guy's car and taking the abused daughter along. Alas, she should know by now to check in the trunk first, where dad has stashed his wife's body. Inevitably, Kim gets caught by the local cops, and boy does she have some explaining to do! Thankfully, by causing the police car to drive off the road, she is able to escape into the woods, but oops, she steps right into an... animal trap! That makes her an easy meal for the approaching hungry mountain lion! Fortunately, she is rescued by the very lonely, somewhat horny, and decidedly nutty survivalist! Although he has bad intentions initially, he turns out to have a heart of gold, and sends her on her way, packing one of his spare revolvers no less. The gun turns out to be a mixed blessing when it is grabbed by a desperate fellow in a convenience store and used to kill the clerk!... All this in less than 20 hours... Stay tuned!
Buffy!	Buffy 2001-2002 Buffy 2000-2001 Buffy 1999-2000 Buffy 1998-1999
The two laws of TV drama	1. Characters should act as if they have seen the show! It's infuriating when a smart show turns stupid, and the most common way in which it happens is that the characters start behaving as if they have never seen the show they are on. Which is to say, they are not learning from experience. The X-Files is the classic case in point. During the first few seasons, Scully's scientific skepticism about all matters paranormal or alien was charming and almost believable. But eventually, being an intelligent woman, she figured out what was going on. Subsequently, her continuing denials have simply been implausible and entirely out of character. The show has had plenty of other problems, but the infantilization of this wonderfully smart and complex character was the worst. And Fox did it all again with "24," a show that started out with plenty of bravado and promise and deteriorated steadily. The characters simply could not get it through their thick skulls that the badguys would kidnap them again, that cellphone conversations are not necessarily private, etc. etc. 2. Every serial needs a villain you love to hate The X-Files had the smoking man, and Buffy had Spike. Before them, Wiseguy had Kevin Spacey. "24" had... Dennis Hopper? Playing the arch-villain, he only showed up toward the end of the season, and a good thing too, because every time he opened his mouth and put on a thick Slavic accent worthy of Boris Badenov, you had to crack up.
Other TV views	Not being a cable subscriber, I have to restrict my viewing to broadcast TV and the supply of tapes that various friends with HBO send me. And thank goodness they do, because the broadcast network fare has been truly dismal. Except for... Greg the Bunny A Fox effort that came and went faster than the first reject on an episode of "Elimidate," this was one of those quirky sitcoms that was simply too mean-spirited to survive, a la the (much better) "Buffalo Bill." The best Greg episode involved several of the show's puppet characters (who interact with the humans) popping mood-altering pills and helping neuter an overactive (live-action) golden retriever. The plot revolves around the use of some singing Sammy Davis Jr. novelty glass eyeballs as prosthetic replacements for the doggy's lost privates. Well, you'd have to see it... Curb Your Enthusiasm Episodes of Larry David's fictional (?) comedy about his own life as a successful but underemployed sitcom producer range from quite amusing to convulsively funny. Every character (including Larry) is a jerk, except his charming and long-suffering wife. Fantastic.
Buffy: 2001-2002 season, RIP	Reluctantly, I gave up on Buffy mid-season. I had hoped Joss Whedon would know when to toss in the towel, but I was wrong. The plots have been lame, the relationships have become hackneyed, the musical episode was embarrassing, and saddest of all has been to see the show's love of language deteriorate into cliché. And, when all is said and done, Buffy and her friends are just too old now. A bright young woman like her really should finish college and get a decent job, rather than waste her time hacking up demons, saving the world, and dealing with Willow's nasty black magic habit. Indeed it's rare that a great TV show knows when to retire with dignity. The temptation to cash in on a well-deserved following of faithful viewers is just too much for most mortals to resist. Hand it to Jerry Seinfeld for having had the artistic integrity (!) to quit while his show was still near its peak.
Buffy: 2000-2001 season	As Buffy migrates to the UPN network, the 2000-2001 season will be a tough act to follow. The season closer was a bit much, to be sure... how many times will Buffy go to hell and back? But the earlier episodes that followed the death of Buffy's mom were among the most gripping in any television series I've seen. Has there ever been a TV show with more brilliant episode endings? In addition to the creepy and ultimately devastating scene in which Buffy discovers her mother's body in their home, the 2000-2001 season featured some memorable final scenes... The season opener, featuring a creepy visit from Count Dracula, closes with the surprise introduction of Buffy's little sister, Dawn. Only this show would have the audacity to introduce a new principal character with no explanation and have the cast treat her as if she had always been there. Of course, there turns out to be an explanation... The beautiful romance between the aspiring witches Willow and Tara is featured in another recent ending, which finds the two in a loving embrace in the middle of a crowded dance floor. The camera slowly zooms away to reveal them suspended a few feet above the floor, though no one around them seems to notice. Typical of some of the best Buffy moments, events in the the external, physical world echo the inner, psychological world of the characters. Another recent episode ends with Buffy sitting on the steps of her front porch in tears, distraught at her mother's diagnosis with a brain tumor. Along comes Spike, her defanged vampire nemesis, who now has an incurable crush on the slayer. He sits beside her and offers a few awkwardly gentle pats on the shoulder. These Buffy half-accepts, in a moment that is at once comic and genuinely touching. Speaking of which, those of you who still believe that Buffy is not a "serious" TV show should compare its treatment of Mom's tumor and ultimate demise with the preposterous and insultingly saccharine plotline involving Mark's brain tumor on "E.R."
Buffy: 1999-2000 season	Buffy the Vampire Slayer remains my favorite TV show. It is still sharply written, with appealing characters, wonderful actors, and clever plot lines. And reluctantly I've had to acknowledge the inevitable: that Buffy and her friends would grow up and graduate from Sunnydale High. Indeed, some aspects of this season have been up to the old standards. It’s great to have Spike back, although chemically defanged he has lost some of his sinister appeal. The budding lesbian romance between Willow and Tara has been handled beautifully. Over the season their early platonic friendship based on a mutual interest in witchcraft evolved into a shared voyage of discovery of romantic and sexual attraction, as well as personal identity. If you don’t watch the show you will laugh when I tell you that the best moment on television I’ve seen in a year was when Willow chooses Tara over her werewolf boyfriend Oz. But Buffy will never again achieve the heights of past seasons. It is not that the actors or writers are not up to the task of integrating more mature characters into the show’s themes. It is that the show’s brilliant dramatic structure simply could not be transported out of the high-school setting. It was also impossible to continue Buffy’s intensely complex relationship with Angel, the moody vampire turned good, and WB wisely spun him off into his own show. The Buffy of years past was about the only place in pop culture where one could find a convincing portrayal of the theme of forbidden love. This is an archaic notion in our time, one that had seemingly been killed off by the sexual revolution and postmodern cynicism, but Buffy brought it back to life. The device was simple: Consummation of Buffy and Angel’s relationship would have the most dire consequences, destroying Angel’s soul and unleashing his extraordinary potential for evil. Pure Gothic nonsense, but the chemistry between the lead actors was so powerful that they made it work. The show’s second stroke of genius was to center the action in the high-school library, and create a character who lived there who could serve as Buffy’s surrogate father (Giles, the librarian and watcher). The pull on Buffy from these two forces– the paternal authority figure and the forbidden lover– and her ability to master them both formed the basis for the show’s high drama. Add the richly characterized circle of friends, plenty of humor, and imaginatively conceived villains, and you had the magic of Buffy in its prime. So, Buffy the VS will never be the same, but it’s still great, which is more than one can say for my other viewing addiction, the X-Files, which deteriorated further this season, saved only partially by its penchant for self-referential humor and its affection and respect for its own lead characters.
Buffy: 1998-1999 season	The 1998-99 season did not disappoint.  That lovable Billy Idol-lookalike vampire, Spike, was sorely missed, but the show came up with an equally delightful arch-villain you hate to love in the mayor Sunnydale, who is out to ascend to supreme demon-hood.  Unfortunately, real-life evils in Littleton overtook the show, and the climactic season finale, to take place at Sunnydale High's commencement ceremonies, had to be postponed.  Other highlights of the season included the episode in which evildoers waylay the band fundraiser by doping the chocolate bars, causing the town's grown-ups to regress to teenage behavior, much to the disgust of the teenagers themselves.  Like all great TV, "Buffy" relies on characterization and a love of language--the wonderful insights into adolescence and American culture are only bonuses.  Amazingly, the characters continue to grow and deepen.  The dialogue surpasses that in 95 percent of Hollywood movies.  Only on "Buffy" would the brainiest kid agree to help her fellow student with the chemistry homework by noting, "Oh, chemistry is easy.  It's a lot like witchcraft... only less newt." This show simply can't stay this good forever, so enjoy it while you still can.
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